As I’m indulging in this feeling now, I’m surprised. Is it possible that I’ve never felt it before? Surely not. Surely, I must have felt this before. No?
No.
How can this be?
…I know the name of the feeling. I know what it is called, and I know that it is of The Most High feelings
—desired by all
—known by all.
Yet, until now...
I have never felt it?
—What does that mean?
What is the value of this strange reality of realization, which accompanies this first feeling?
—I can see clearly now the meaning of every other encounter with this feeling, and I can measure that they were not nearly the fullness of this feeling.
I perceive it, this feeling, as being so essential to my entire, eternal survival that, if anyone
—or anything
...Were to provide evidence sufficient enough to prove that this feeling is not what I am feeling it to be,
—I would not even begin to hear them.
For,
—I would not see the evidence, nor would I need to, nor would I—for even a fraction of time—consider, let alone fear, the consequences, of having not heard, not seen, and therefore not responded.
For,
This feeling is much like finding oneself filled with water in an eternal, waterless desert.
indeed if you were to tell the desert people, they would have to surrender—something like insanity—in order to believe:
—To believe that there is a way to receive precisely what you do not even know you need toward the most critical aspect of your survival
—To believe in Manna.
Further, I feel, in this feeling, an essential communication: the substance of a particular Word, emanating from a distance equal to Forever.
It is as if I am living inside of that utterance—a sound and song I no longer hear of (in dire and ancient parable) but rather,
—A sound I am hearing and being now, because I have finished believing it, and am now living it.
I feel free as a result.
Hallelujah
For,
The unseen muscle which I had been using to believe that this feeling existed, and that I existed in it, and it in me as One—well that muscle is finally free!
The work of that muscle is finished suddenly. And that is also a first feeling within this first feeling.
Glory,
How many things are in this one feeling?
All things?
It seems the only act I can do in response to having received this feeling,
Is to offer water for water.
To weep..
In one way or another
—For as long as I Exist.